


Pez Dispenser

by Elenhin



Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Anders Johnsons, Dawn mad, Drugs, Gen, oups
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-01-18 01:09:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1409395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elenhin/pseuds/Elenhin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A challenge by the ever talented Aramirandme81 was to write a continuation on her One Word at a Time series, Pez Dispenser.</p>
<p>Pez dispenser: “It’s a pill bottle Anders, not a Pez dispenser.”</p>
<p>This is a multiple chapter story, and somewhat angsty. Between an argument with Axl, and the wrong prescriptioin, Anders suffers an overdose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aramirandme81](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aramirandme81/gifts).



> For Aramirandme81, for trusting me with her work, and for everything.

_** Pez Dispenser ** _

 

_ Chapter 1 _

 

Dawn had worked for Anders long enough that the sight of  a vodka bottle before lunch no longer made her frown. Nor did the double and triple espressos shock her anymore than what detailed descriptions of sexual experiences did. Sometimes Anders did it becuase he loved to shock her, because he knew she did not want to hear the details, and he could be very blunt about it, and smile when she shuddered with disgust. Sometimes he shared it becuase he was just so happy he could not contain his enthusiasm. Anders could be very happy about sex, happier than anyone else she knew and she had a friend who really enjoyed sex. 

 

She had almost worried about her at times, then she met Anders….

 

He drank too much, he would frequently use drugs and he slept with any woman he could talk into his bed. 

 

It was the drinking and the drugs that worried her the most back then, but by now she was used even to that. She was not sure, but she had her suspicions that he had been under the influence of more than one illicit substance when they did the anti-drug campaign. It had been a brilliant campaign though, and Anders had taken it seriously. In spite of using the substances they were working against. How he got them she never knew, but he had contacts. 

 

He was a lot more discrete about the drugs than the drinking though. She was grateful for that, she had never seen him inject anything and she did not know if he ever had. There had been the odd home rolled  cigarette or pill. Some chocolate chip cookies that sent him into a fit of hyperactive creativity that made her head spin from trying to follow. 

 

She could stand the drinking, she could not understand why he saw the need to drink so much and she did not want to think about the state of his liver. On the other hand, you put things in alcohol to preserve them so maybe it was fine, no, she knew the damage the alcohol did, but at the moment Anders did not appear to be suffering. So she could tolerate the drinking, the insanely heavy drinking that seemed to indicate he would never live to see forty. She could tolerate it becuase there was nothing she could do about it. 

 

She had even learned to turn a blind eye, or mostly blind eye to the drugs. She had learned that there was nothing she could do or say to make him stop and he did at least seem to know how to use them so he would not die from an overdose. 

 

Now however she was starting to have her doubts. 

 

Anders had shown up for work unusually early which was to say he was on time. He looked awful though, moving stiffly and clearly favoring his left side. He was limping slightly and kept the arm mostly against his midsection. 

 

When she asked him what had happened though he simply shrugged it off and said it was nothing. It did however mean that she said nothing about the bottle of pills he took from his pocket. It was a regular bottle of pills with his name on the label so whatever had happened it was obviously he had been to a doctor and had gotten the medication prescribed for him. 

 

She saw him shake a couple of them into his palm and wash them down with coffee first thing, wondering if that might not be slightly over the advised dosage but she said nothing. Anders would know all about the drug if anyone did it. He had an extensive knowledge of drugs and he was usually right. She had after all been prescribed something for a mild allergy, Anders had seen the bottle and disapproved. He’d stated his reasons and he had been right so she had had the prescription changed. 

 

It was just a few hours later though when she saw him open the bottle again. She could not tell if he just took one, or if he took more, but he made a face as he washed them down with coffee. 

 

Just an hour later she heard the rattle of it but when she looked up he was working so she did not know if he had taken another dose or if he just moved the bottle. 

 

She went out for lunch but Anders stayed behind and when she came back she knew he had not eaten. Since he never had breakfast before he came to the office it meant he had not eaten anything the whole day. 

 

“Anders, shouldn’t you have some lunch?” she asked heading over to his desk. 

 

“Not hungry,” he shrugged, grabbing the bottle of his desk he popped another of the pill, but at least only one. 

 

“I’m pretty sure that you’re supposed to eat something with those pills,” she pointed out. “And you haven’t. I can go and get you a sandwich.” 

 

“No Dawn, I don’t want anything,” he swallowed hard. “And don’t bring up food again.” 

 

“Anders, what happened?” she demanded. If he would not even let her mention food it meant he was feeling nauseous. She had heard about people who were afraid of throwing up, had known a girl who claimed to have that phobia and certainly avoided it but still got drunk enough to throw up a couple of times. Then she met Anders, who grudgingly admitted to it at one point when he was sick. She found out it was true when they both had the ill fortune to get sandwiches that had spoiled. When she admitted she thought she was going to be sick, Anders started panicking. He did not just express disgust, he broke out into a cold sweat, went so pale she thought he would faint and started hyperventilating. The only reason she was not sick was becuase of the shock of seeing him do that, and concern that he would collapse or something. 

 

She never mentioned throwing up in front of him again after that. 

 

She wouldn’t mention food again either, he appeared to tolerate the coffee, but if he felt that nauseous she would not do that to him. 

 

She could not hide her worry though, she cared about Anders, and now he was hurt. How could she not worry?

 

“It’s nothing,” Anders waved it away, but holding his arm to his belly and she did not miss how he shifted his eyes away. Anders could lie to just about anyone with a straight face, but not to her. 

 

“It’s something, and I’m worried,” she stated. “What happened Anders?” 

 

“I don’t want to talk about that Dawn, I appreciate that you care, but I really do not want to talk about it, so please just leave it alone.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, then reached for the pill bottle, shaking three into his hand. She had to bite her lip not to say anything, but he looked so miserable and she was so worried for him. He was pale now, his breathing almost a little labored and he was pale. She was very worried for him. When Anders would not talk about it his family was quite often involved and it always seemed to hurt him more and she never knew what to say. Anders cared about his brothers, she knew this. He cared for them a great deal, but it was still hard for him. 

 

“Okay,” she nodded slowly. She would have added that he could talk to her if he needed to. He would not becuase Anders never did. 

 

Then she could no longer be quiet when she saw him take more of the pills. It had gone too far, she knew she should have spoken up before. Walking over to him she simply plucked the bottle from his hand. “It’s a pill bottle Anders, not a Pez dispenser,” she told him sharply. 

 

“Hey, give it back,” Anders rose from his seat, but he looked more worried than mad. 

 

“No Anders,” she checked the label and then cursed. The maximum dosage was six pills over a twenty-four hour period, Anders had probably exceeded that long before lunch. “Are you insane, are you trying to kill yourself? How many of these have you taken?” she demanded. 

 

“I know what I’m doing, now give them back,” he ordered. 

 

“So you can take more of them?” she demanded. “You’ve overdosed already. What are these for anyway? How serious exactly is this? I’m so mad at you right now I don’t know if I should haul you off to the hospital or just leave you here and let you kill yourself!” 

 

“Dawn,” he started, but Dawn walked away. She took the bottle to her desk, quickly finding the web page she had used before, typing in the name of the medication. Anders did not try to make her stop, or in any way even approach her as she read the information. 

 

By her guess of how many pills he had taken he would have been risking heart failure if he had taken them at the same time, spaced out as it was it was still dangerous and suddenly she did not think his slightly laboured breathing and pale features were because of the injuries anymore. 

 

Grabbing her purse she found herself short of breath, “Anders,” she had meant to order him along but broke off. He looked even worse now, hands trembling, his breathing shallow and coming in small gasps, a sheen of sweat on his face and deathly pale. She felt herself go icecold, wondering if she’d even have the time to get him to the hospital. “Anders, you’re coming with me right now!” 

 

“Dawn?” he tried to speak but found himself gasping for breath instead. His heart was racing and yet he felt as if he could not breath. Dawn could be scary when she was mad, really scary and she was furious now so he followed. He got into the passenger seat, slumping forward with his hands clutching at the seat, trying to breath. He was scared, because his heart was hammering against his ribcage and yet he felt like he could not breath. There was no air, he would have panicked if he had been able to. 

 

Dawn pulled at him, pulled at his arm and he stumbled to his feet. He had no idea when the car had stopped but he stumbled after her, leaning against her as he staggered along beside her. 

 

On the other side of a door he could only just recognize his surroundings. 

 

“No, no, no, no,” but it was not just Dawn pulling on his arm now, there was more of them, and it was a hospital. He could not fight it anymore, everything was swimming in front of his eyes, but he saw Dawn hand the small orange pill bottle to someone with a white coat. He tried to reach for it, but then everything went black. 

  
_**TBC** _

 

_Please comment, the Cricket is hungry....._


	2. chapter 2

_** Chapter 2 ** _

 

Dawn was relieved to see them take Anders away, but then the questions came, questions she could not answer. She knew some of his personal information, the basic of his medical history. She had given them the bottle of pills but she could not answer how many he had taken, and she told them that to her knowledge Anders did not have a previous history of abusing prescription drugs, nor any addiction that she knew of. The only thing she did tell them was that he was periodically a heavy drinker. She just could not bring herself to say that Anders was a drug addict, he was not, not really. If she said he was then they would deal with him with the prejudice she knew they would hold. She could not do that. Anyone might make mistakes, he had clearly been in pain, she told them that. That she thought it was a mistake due to the pain.

 

She really hated the questions though, when they came and asked her about the fact that she was his emergency contact, his proxy, in spite of him having three brothers. 

 

She did not even know what they were doing with him, for no one appeared to be ready to tell her. She asked, but they only said they had no answers yet, and then finally when they asked about his family she snapped. 

 

“What does it matter?!” she demanded. “I know his brothers, but they did not use to be close. That’s why I am his emergency contact. Now can you tell me what’s going on or not?” 

 

The doctor leafed through the papers on this clipboard, the slipped it under his arm. “Mr. Johnson is stable at the moment, but we would like to perform some more tests. If you would like to have a seat in the waiting room someone will inform you when we know more.” 

 

“No, I do not want to wait,” she half snapped. “I want to know right now, is he even going to be okay?” 

 

“If you would please wait, you will be informed when we have more information,” he simply stated before he turned around and walked away. Dawn hated it, but there was nothing else to do but go to the waiting room like he had said. 

 

She could not say how long she waited there, others came to sit and wait, and then left again. 

 

A more sympathetic nurse came to offer her a cup of tea and a sandwich, and she accepted the tea while the nurse spoke to her a few minutes. She really did not learn anything more, but at least she felt a little better for it. She wondered if maybe she should call Ty, or Mike, and let them know. She probably should, but she could not bring herself to doing it before she really knew anything at all. 

 

When they finally came to tell her she was too upset to really listening to what they said. None of it really sank in before she was allowed to see Anders, and then she stopped dead in the doorway. Anders looked to be asleep, at least his eyes were closed but he was still deathly pale and there was an oxygen mask over his face. 

 

She wasn’t sure what was worse, the mask or the wires and IV-lines that he was hooked up to. One IV running into the back of each hand, wires attached to his chest and a clip on his finger. It made it all look more serious. 

 

“Is he going to be alright?” she demanded and the doctor nodded. 

 

“He should make a full recovery, barring any complications, which is unlikely though not impossible. At the moment what he needs is rest, and then we will of course have to speak to him and see what caused this.” 

 

“What do you mean,” Dawn frowned. 

 

“He will have to speak to a counselor,” she explained, checking her clipboard. “It was a drug overdose and that fact that it was prescription medication does not make a difference in this matter. If it was deliberate abuse it is our duty to pursue it and make sure he gets the help it needs.” 

 

“I understand,” Dawn nodded. 

 

“He should wake up soon,” she gave her a slight smile before leaving, and Dawn sat down. Again she knew she should at least call Ty, but she simply could not. She felt like she did not have the strength anymore. 

 

When Anders finally stirred she only looked at him, remaining silent at a small moan before he opened his eyes. 

 

“Dawn?” he managed, his voice hoarse, but she could see the relief in his eyes as he saw her. There had been panic and fear there at first, but when he realized she was there he calmed down instantly. He slowly lifted a hand to his face so he could remove the mask long enough to speak.

 

“I quit.” 

 

“What, what happened Dawn?” he licked his lip, struggling to sit up. 

 

“I quit Anders, that’s what happened,” she started. “I can’t take this anymore, I can’t take you anymore. Not knowing if you have finally managed to kill yourself, having to deal with this,” she gestured to him. “You put me through this, and I’m not going to do it anymore.” 

 

“What happened Dawn?” he sounded desperate now, almost scared. 

 

“You popped pills like it was candies,” she snapped at him. “You had an overdose and I can not take it anymore. If that’s how you want to run your life you’re on your own, but you’re not doing it to me anymore. I’m going to call Ty now, let them sort you out. Though I’m pretty sure they’re fed up with you as well. But I guess they’re stuck with you. I,” she broke off. “I cared for you Anders, I really did, even in spite of the shit you make me do. I thought you were worth it, but now I’m not so sure and if you don’t care more about me than to do this, then, then I quit,” she finished. 

  
Getting up she pulled the phone out of her pocket, finding the contact she wanted. “I, I’m glad you’re okay Anders, but I’m not gonna let you do this to me again. I’m going to call Ty now, and I, uh, I wish you had not done this.” 

  
She did not wait to see if he would say anything. Ty answered, and she simply stated the facts. Ty was not all that surprised, he was concerned and angry, but not really surprised. She was too upset to go home, so she went to the office to get her things, to give herself a chance to calm down. 

 

** TBC **

 

_ Please comment, the Cricket is hungry.... _


	3. chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

Ty got the door to Anders’ flat open and half carried him inside, kicking the door shut behind him. The noise made Anders wince though Ty did not care. Dawn had told him she was leaving when she told him about Anders and he did not blame her. He had still gone there to find out as much as he could before he called Mike. They hadn’t spoken to Axl yet, or he had not, Mike would have to tell him while Ty took his brother home. At the hospital they had not allowed him to go home before they had determined the cause of the overdose, something Anders had used Bragi for. Now though Anders was spent and barely coherent though Ty felt no sympathy for him. 

 

He hauled him into the bedroom and allowed him to fall on the bed, Anders bringing up his hands to try and brace himself as he landed on the mattress, then giving Ty a hurt look. 

 

“What the fuck were you doing?” Ty had planned to let Mike take care of the lecture, but he could not help himself. Anders was his brother, his big brother. He was supposed to look after him, not do this. If he was forced to go to the hospital on account of his brother it was supposed to be becuase he was sick or had had an accident. Ty could accept that and would do his best to take care of him if that happened, but not for this. 

 

“Leave me the fuck alone,” Anders mumbled. 

 

“No,” Ty shook his head. “Anders do you even realize what you did, what you put Dawn through? What were you trying to do? I know you’re a fucking idiot, but you usually don’t overdose though you take a shit load of drugs.” 

 

“It’s none of your fucking business Ty,” Anders sat up, drawing a deep breath. He still found himself short of breath though they had assured him that would pass. They had suggested he needed to rest and it was probably true, he just could not bring himself to care. 

 

“It is my business,” Ty snapped. “Because you are my brother. My fucked up stupid brother who cares about no one but himself. Jesus Anders, you could have killed yourself right there at the office, and what would that have done to Dawn? Did you even think about that? Did you even think about her?”

 

“Thanks for the ride home, now get the fuck out,” He took a few more deep breaths before he pushed to his feet, swaying for a moment before he managed to stumble towards the door. 

 

“Anders!” Ty stared after him. “Where are you going now.” 

 

Concentrating on making his way down the hall Anders did not answer. Instead he opened the small hatch so he could feed the fish. He found the small jar of fish food and gave them a good pinch, leaning against the wall. Watching them swim around was good, it was calm and peaceful and he closed his eyes for a moment. 

 

“Anders!” Ty’s voice came sharply from behind him, causing him to jump and spill the food. 

 

“Fuck!” he lost his balance, crashing to the floor himself and crying out as his shoulder hit the wall and he cursed as the flakes fluttered to the floor. 

 

“Get up,” Ty grabbed his arm and pulled him up roughly. He was a little surprised over how Anders cried out, then cradled his arm to his stomach. Remembering Dawn had said he had looked to be in pain that morning. 

 

“What’s going on Anders?” he demanded. “If you can explain this, then I will listen, but I want an explanation. 

 

“Just get the fuck out of here Ty,” Anders swallowed. 

 

“I think I should, but I can’t just leave you like this,” he sighed. Anders hardly looked capable of taking care of himself. He had not really eaten anything in the hospital though they had given him some juice. Dawn had told him Anders never had breakfast before he went to the office and he guessed that he had not eaten since sometime the day before. Helping Anderes to the couch he sighed as he opened the fridge, and the cupboard. There were glasses, alcohol and plates, but hardly any food at all. He found some expired tins of soup and cursed, knowing just how long they had been sitting there. He recognized them because Anders never bought tin soup for himself but Ty had done it when his brother was sick because he figured he needed something. Anything as long as he ate, so he picked up a couple of cans, made Anders promise to eat them, and they were still here. 

 

“You fucking idiot!” he glared at his brother as he grabbed a plastic bag and threw the tins in it. When he had thrown everything that was expired into the bag, there really was not much left at all. There was olive oil, a package of egg noodles and a few more items but nothing to make a meal from. “I’m gonna pick you up something to eat, though I don’t know why I bother,” he stated. Anders was curled up on the couch, staring blankly at the fishtank, as if he had not even heard him. “Is there anything you want?” 

 

He waited, but his brother did not answer so he shook his shoulder roughly. “Anders, I’m trying to make sure you don’t starve to death, so how about showing some fucking appreciation? Now, what do you want to eat?” 

 

“I’m not hungry,” he shook his head slowly. 

 

“I’m not really surprised, but come on, you have to eat ‘bro. And I guess that no matter what a fucking prick you’ve been I still care enough to make you a meal, so how about it?” 

 

Anders shook his head, “don’t bother Ty.” 

 

“I’ll just see what I can find then,” he sighed. There was a small supermarket just a block away so he headed there to pick up some basic supplies for his brother. Almost amused when his mobile rang on the way back and he saw that it was Mike. Mike was pretty predictable that way.

 

“So how’s he doing?” the oldest Johnson brother wanted to know. 

 

“About as well as expected, which pretty much means like shit,” Ty informed him. “Not telling me anything, more than to fuck off that is. I just picked him up some food as he did not really have anything at all fit for eating.”

 

“Anders never keeps much more than booze,” Mike snorted. 

 

“It’s worse than usual,”  Ty shook his head even if Mike could not see it. “Normally you can at least fend of starvation even if he never keeps a lot. This, this is fucking insane Mike. Only edible thing is a pack of noodles and the cooking oil. It’s about all I found. He didn’t even have any juice, or any bread, at least he normally keeps enough to make a sandwich. 

 

“Yeah, he normally does,” Mike sighed. “Can you handle it?” 

 

“Gonna cook him up something, I reckon that’s about all I can do at the moment,” Ty shrugged. “Did you tell Axl?” 

 

“Yeah,” Mike sighed tiredly. “He’s not exactly happy about it.” 

 

“Who the fuck is,” Ty snorted. “I don’t think even Anders is, but we don’t have much choice other than to deal with it.” 

 

“No, we don’t,” Mike agreed. “Alright, you see if you can cook something for him. Then, if you want to leave that’s fine, maybe he needs some time to think about it. I’ll check by him later tonight.” 

 

“Sure,” Ty nodded, then hung up and headed back up to the flat. He kept the food simple, but nutritious and cooked up some chicken with rice and vegetables. Putting a plate on the coffee table in front of Anders who did not even move. Sighing he poured a glass of juice that he put next to it. “Eat Anders, Mike will come by later to see how you’re doing, okay?” Anders did not really say anything, but he looked at Ty and glanced at the plate. 

 

“I’ll leave you alone to eat, I guess that’s what you want,” Ty mused. “There is more in the kitchen, all you have to do is put in the fridge and you got food for about two or three days, okay?” 

 

Anders looked his way and he sighed, “anyway, I’ll go now, so take care now, yeah?” He walked away tiredly. 

 

** TBC **

 

_Please comment, the Cricket is hungry...._


	4. chapter 4

Chapter 4

 

It was late before Mike could make it to Anders, he did not look forward to arguing with him and had to admit that he had been putting it off. A part of him almost hoped that he would be asleep so he would not have to deal with him right away. 

 

Pushing the door open he noticed that it was dark, and contemplated leaving but decided to make sure he was okay. He almost wished he could just leave but his conscience would not let him. No matter what Anders was his brother, his little brother. Axl was the baby of the family, to all of them. Anders had been special though, in a way neither Ty nor Axl had been. The tiny child who trusted Mike right from the start, who would toddle around after him and used to sneak into his room all the time. Dad was against Anders sleeping with stuffed toys from the start, though he was allowed to play with them. Anders however would slip into Mike’s room when he wanted a nap, and Mike had walked in to find him asleep with anything from his rugby ball to his shirt or dirty socks. 

 

He frowned as he saw the leftovers Ty had made still on the counter in the kitchen, but he decided it was possible Anders had forgotten about it as he went to bed. He found the shrink wrap and quickly put the food away before it could spoil. He doubted it had done so already but better to be on the safe side. Checking the bedroom though he was surprised to find it empty, as was the bathroom. He doubted he had gone anywhere and went back into the lounge, cursing when he saw him on the couch. He was awake, but had not made a sound as Mike was moving about. A plate of food stood untouched on the coffee table, it did not take a genius to know he had not eaten at all. 

 

“Anders, you fucking idiot,” he pinched the bridge of his nose looking at his brother. “Anders?” There was still no reaction and now he felt concerned. “Anders!” he grabbed him, shaking him, and was rewarded with a small grunt. 

 

“Anders, what the fuck are you doing?” he demanded. “What’s going on here?” 

 

“Go away Mike,” his brother swallowed. 

 

“What?” he paused. “Are you insane? Look at yourself! Do you seriously think I’ll leave you like this?” 

 

“Wha’?” his brother blinked confused. 

 

“Look at yourself Anders. You haven’t even touched the food Ty made you, have you even moved at all?” he demanded. 

 

“Go away,” Anders closed his eyes again. 

 

“No, no way,” Mike decided. “I’ll reheat the food, and you are going to eat.” He picked up the plate and headed to the kitchen area. “You fucking idiot,” he sighed. He put the plate in the microwave, bringing it back to the coffee table and sighing when Anders still had not moved. Putting the plate on the table he grabbed his shoulder. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Is this because of the overdose? Or what are you doing?” Grabbing him by both shoulders he pulled him up to sitting. “You’re fucking scaring me here Anders.” 

 

“I’m tired,” Anders mumbled looking at the plate Mike thrust at him. 

 

“I’m not leaving here until you eat,” he shook his head. “And I’m starting to wonder if I shouldn’t haul your ass back to the hospital. So if you don’t want me to do that, you’d better eat.” 

 

Anders groaned, but picked up the fork and at least poked around in it but Mike had to sigh over how little he actually ate. 

 

“And they really released you like this?” he demanded to know. Anders had dropped his hand with the fork and was only staring at the plate now. 

 

“Just not hungry,” he started slowly, carefully. “I feel like shit Mike, I just want to sleep.” 

 

“I guess I can understand that,” he decided. “But you should still eat that.” 

 

“No, just sleep some,” Anders insisted. “Too tired to eat.” 

 

“Alright fine, we’ll get you to bed,” Mike agreed. Anders was unsteady on his feet, and really looked exhausted. Collapsing on the bed and curling up there. Mike shook his head, but left him to sleep. He did not feel like dealing with his brother at the moment, too angry over what he had done to feel much sympathy with him, and he knew that Ty felt the same. They would have to deal with him to some extent, but they were not going to babysit him. A part of him wanted to throw him out of the family, but he knew he could not do that. They had tried and it did not work. He had banished him, after Anders turned twenty one and slept with Valerie. He had thrown him out on his birthday and while he sometimes wondered if he still had not fully forgiven him for what he did another part of him had never stopped regretting throwing him out like that. He if anyone should have known how getting the God powers could mess with your head. You certainly could not control them on your first day, he would never forget the look on Anders face after he beat him, and he did beat him. He did not care how much smaller Anders was, he beat him and threw him out. Anders had never really gone back to him for anything after that, though he kept in touch with Ty and Axl. 

 

Perhaps if he had not thrown him out like that but had tried to sort him out instead Anders would have been a better person. Perhaps he would not have overdosed on some stupid drug. He did not know, could not say, but he would always wonder. 

 

Anders was sleeping now, but he looked cold so Mike sighed, he’d make sure he did not freeze, he owed his little brother that much. He should have a blanket in the closet so he opened the door, there wasn’t much there. Some odd items of women’s clothing, some old clothes Anders did not wear anymore, a pair of worn sweatpants and hoodie. He found a blanket and cursed, an electric blanket, so old and worn it had to be lethal to use. Yet Anders had kept it and Anders wasn’t one who kept broken junk. 

 

Ty had once told him that Anders had trouble getting the money to last while he studied at uni, he had been upset becuase Anders used an electric blanket becuase it was cheaper than heating the flat. This would have to be the blanket and he wondered why Anders kept it. 

 

Grinding his teeth he searched through the closet until he found another blanket and he threw it over Anders who mumbled something in his sleep and then went back to sleep. 

 

Mike left, hoping they would be able to sort him out before he killed himself. 

 

He spoke to Ty, the two of them agreeing that they needed to keep an eye on him, drop in at least once a day to make sure he had eaten okay since they could not really be sure he would on his own. That’s why Ty went past his office in the afternoon the next day, confused when it was closed. More than a little concerned he continued on to Anders flat, entering and calling his brother’s name. 

 

The flat was quiet and dark, but when he entered the bedroom he found Anders just as Mike said he had left him. 

 

“Oh, no, Anders, no, no, no!” running forward and shaking him hard he was relieved to at least hear a groan. “Anders!” he shook him again, not understanding what was going on. “Come on ‘bro, come on!” 

 

“Stop,” Anders groaned, opening his eyes. “Trying to sleep.” 

 

“For fucks sake Anders,” Ty drew a shaky breath. “Have you been here like this since Mike left? No, no, you can’t have, you can’t.” 

 

“I’m trying to sleep,” Anders rolled over, then groaned as the muscles in his calf cramped, causing him to cry out. “Fuck!” 

 

“What’s wrong?” Ty demanded, not knowing if he should grab him or pull back. 

 

“Cramp,” Anders clutched at his leg and Ty nodded slowly. Leaning forward he pushed Anders hand away to knead the muscles. If Anders had been lying where he was the whole time since Mike left it was no surprise he suffered cramps when he moved. So when his brother relaxed as the cramp went away he rubbed his other leg too. He still felt the concern and worry that had overwhelmed him when he entered. Anders had never done anything like this before, he wasn’t one to give in to something like it which made it all the harder to see. 

 

“Come on ‘bro, you need a shower,” slipping an arm behind him he helped him to sit up. “I guess you’re still not over the effects of that overdose, huh? That’s it right? You’re just not up to this yet even if they discharged you. We’ll get you into the shower and you’ll feel better and you can eat some. Feel more like yourself yeah?” There were bruises on his back, so he tried to be careful. 

 

He helped him undress and pulled him to his feet, holding him as he wavered. It was no wonder really, he was ill, and Ty was concerned but it made sense Anders just needed a little more time to get over the last effects. He wondered what the hospital had said about that, Dawn had not told him but then she had been upset too.  

 

He eased Anders down onto the closed lid of the toilet and turned on the shower. Checking to make sure the water wasn’t too hot he helped Anders to his feet again and into the shower. “Take your time now ‘bro. Should help loosen the muscles and you’ll feel a lot better. If you need any help after you can just call me now, yeah. Okay?” 

 

Anders gave a small nod, so Ty left him to give him some privacy and make sure he had something to eat after. 

 

He had left the bathroom door slightly open and listened with half an ear. The shower kept running which he took to be a good sign that Anders was really cleaning off. He and Mike should have realized that Anders would be worn out. 

 

He had been tired, and it was really no wonder. The fact that he was in the shower so long he told himself was a good sign that he was really cleaning himself off and enjoying it. He’d feel a lot better afterwards. 

 

Then he decided maybe he should still check on him. He was taking just a little too long for Ty’s comfort. 

 

“Anders, you alright in there?” he called softly. There was no response so he went to the door, he was still standing under the spray, and now Ty reflected on the bruises he had seen as he helped him undress. There was a mass of them on the back of his shoulder and back. It was no wonder the doctor had prescribed him painkillers for it. his knee was swollen when Ty looked closer, bruises around it. More bruises from elbow to wrist, and more swelling and he sighed. Whatever had happened it would have had to be painful. 

 

“You doing okay there Anders?” he asked again. He did not like that it was so hard to get his attention. Stepping over he also frowned over the fact that there was no steam from the water anymore. “Come on ‘bro, what the fucks going on here?” he demanded as he reached in to turn off the water. It was ice cold, and now he saw the blue tinge to Anders’ lips. He hadn’t even touched the temperature, and the water had long since run cold with Anders not making a move to turn it up warmer or getting out of the shower. 

 

At first Ty could only stare at him in shock. What could possibly cause Anders to simply stand in an ice cold shower and not do anything about it. Then he swore and pushed him back so he could turn off the spray. Grabbing Anders and turning him around so he stumbled back. “What the fuck are you doing!” he snapped. “Are you out of your fucking mind? Do you want to get pneumonia or something?”

 

Anders just blinked at him, shivering and looking confused. Ty grabbed the first towel he could reach, wrapping it around him and dragging him out of the bathroom. He almost threw him down on the couch, cursing as his lips were still tinted blue. Pulling his mobile out of his pocket and dialing Mike, biting his lip until his brother answered. 

 

“Mike!” he heaved a sigh of relief. “I’m with Anders at his flat, and you need to come here right now.”

 

“What’s wrong?” Mike asked, wavering between annoyance and concern. 

 

“Everything. The fucking idiot was still in the bedroom when I got here, so I put him in the shower and he just about gave himself hypothermia in there. Water was ice cold when I checked on him and he just stood there.” 

 

“Fuck!” Mike cursed. “Is he okay now?”

 

“He’s chilled half to death, but I think he’ll be alright,” Ty decided. “But we can’t have this go on like this.”

 

“I’m on my way,” Mike told him before hanging up. Ty tossed the phone to the coffee table, hurrying to the bathroom for another towel. 

 

“You fucking idiot,” he growled as he started drying Anders’ hair with it. Rubbing him dry, and then getting another towel when the one he had was wet, checking his lips to see when the blue tinge would go away, wrapping the towels around him to try and help him get warm. When Mike entered the flat he looked a little better and was mostly dry. 

 

“Anders?” Mike sat down beside him, noting the slight shiver. Anders had his eyes open, and he would have had to have heard him. “What’s going on Anders? What’s this about?” 

 

Ty hung back to see how Mike was doing, a grim look on his face when Anders did not answer Mike and really did not acknowledge him either. 

 

He had thought Anders would answer Mike, and gave a surprised gasp when Mike slapped Anders hard across the face. 

 

** To be continued.... **

 

 

_Please comment, the Cricket is hungry..._


	5. chapter 5

_** Chapter 5 ** _

 

“What are you doing?” Ty demanded as Anders gasped and pulled back. 

 

“Getting his attention,” Mike gave his brother a grim look. “Do I have it?” 

 

“You hit me?” Anders raised his hand to his face, shivering violently now. 

 

“I did, and I will again if I have to,” Mike told him. “What the fuck is going on Anders? You trying to get us to feel guilty or what? Why the fuck are you doing this?”

 

“I’m not doing anything, you’re the one who hit me,” he mumbled, trying to pull the towels around himself. “Fuck I’m cold.” 

 

“That’s your own bloody fault,” Ty stated. “What the hell were you doing? Trying to kill yourself with pneumonia? You fucking well could have.” 

 

“Leave me alone,” he tugged at the towels, teeth shattering. “Jesus it’s fucking cold.” 

 

“Ty, can you get him the blanket from the bedroom?” Mike asked with a sigh. “Maybe we can talk some sense into him now.” 

 

“Sure,” Ty went to get it, watching as Anders wrapped it tightly around himself but did not stop shivering. 

 

“I’ll heat up some of the food,” Ty decided. 

 

“I’m not hungry,” Anders pulled his legs up, tucking his feet in under himself for warmth. 

 

“Do it Ty,” Mike cut in. “And you will eat it Anders, if I have to fucking cram it down your throat you will eat it.” 

 

“You’re being very aggressive,” Anders muttered. “Just leave me alone, I’m fine.” 

 

Ty had been on the way to the kitchen, but now he gave him a hard slap with the flat of his hand to the back of his head. 

 

“Ow!” Anders dropped the blanket to rub the sore spot. “What was that for?” 

 

“You fucking idiot!” Ty flared. “I don’t know why we still give a fuck about you. God you’re a dick! You could have killed yourself, first that overdose and now this! Jesus, I really don’t know why I care anymore. We really should just wash our hands of you and have it done with!” 

 

“Then why the hell don’t you do that?” Anders pulled up the blanket again, still shivering and he looked so pathetic Mike wasn’t sure what he thought about it. “I never asked you to care, so just piss off and let me be. I fucking well don’t need you.” 

 

Ty gave him another hard crack over the back of his head and Anders cried out, pulling away. 

 

“Enough Ty,” Mike put in. “Go and heat that food up. He’ll eat it.”

 

“Fucking prick,” Anders rubbed the back of his head with a wince and Mike leaned forward. 

 

“Can you tell me what’s going on?” he asked. 

 

“Ty hit me, and so did you,” Anders glared at him, cheeks flushed red in a pale face. 

 

“Becuase he’s just about scared to death over what’s been happening with you here.” Mike spoke calmly. “And so am I. Look at yourself, your chilled half to death because Ty put you in the shower and you didn’t even turn it off when you ran out of hot water. I left you last night and you did not even move before he came. You have to see how this is serious Anders.” 

 

“I don’t see why you care,” he muttered, curling up again. “I’m cold Mike.” 

 

“Yeah,” he sighed tiredly. Anders had been a tricky one as a kid, but never this hard. “But for some reason I don’t think a shower to warm you up is a good idea,” he added sarcastically. “I’ll go see what you have though, and then you will eat and we will talk.” 

 

“Or you could make it easy for yourself and just fuck off,” Anders muttered as Mike went to the bedroom. 

 

Anders mostly only had clothes for work, slacks and shirts. Suits and a few tennis style shirts, it was all made for appearance though, and not so much for warmth. With a sigh he grabbed the duvet from the bed and brought it back with him, slipping it around Anders who frowned confused over it. 

 

“You don’t even have a proper sweater,” Mike sighed. “You really should buy some proper clothes.” 

 

“I got proper clothes,” Anders gave him a sour look. 

 

“Well, at least you should get warm now,” he sighed. Ty came with the plate, putting it down in front of Anders with a sharp click against the glass surface of the table. 

 

“I’m not hungry,” he gave it a disgusted look and turned away. Then cried out as Mike grabbed his shoulder in a vice like grip to force him towards the table. 

 

“And I wasn’t kidding when I said I’d cram it down your throat if you did not eat, so, you had bloody well better eat now, and count yourself fucking lucky Ty even did this for you.” 

 

“Let him go Mike,” Ty sighed. “He’s got some really nasty bruising there.” He dragged the table closer so Anders would be able to reach better. “I’ll get you some water to wash it down with. 

 

Anders speared a bit of the chicken and ate slowly, forcing it down as they both watched. Then he made a choking sound and dropped the fork so Mike pushed the plate away. If he literally could not manage to eat then trying to force him past that point would only make things worse. 

 

“Time to talk then Anders,” he decided as Ty refilled the water glass. “Were you aware of what you were doing with those pills?” 

 

Leaning back Anders closed his eyes so Mike shook him again. “Do that one more time Anders, and I’ll throw you into the shower as you are, and see how you enjoy being wet and cold again,” his voice was cold and hard enough to make Anders give him a fearful look. 

 

“The drug you had was on prescription for you,” Mike started. “We know as much, which means a doctor wrote the prescription for you. And those bruises you have are really nasty, so what happened?” 

 

“I got beaten,” Anders told him simply. 

 

“Who beat you?” Mike pushed. “Someone at some bar? What happened?” 

 

“I pissed someone off, and he threw me into a wall,” Anders glared at him. 

 

“Must have been nasty if they gave you a painkiller for it,” Ty frowned. 

 

“It was bad enough I had to go to the hospital for it,” Anders half snapped. “I had to go and sit in their fucking waiting room half the night until a doctor could be bothered to see me, only to tell me someone gave me a beating and it would hurt like hell. I already knew that by then, I could hardly even move, but yeah, I got the painkillers.” 

 

“So why did you take so many you had an overdose?” Mike wanted to know. “You could have died Anders. Think about what that would have done to Dawn, and to us.” 

 

“I did not mean to overdose, okay?” he flared up. “It was a fuckign accident. I felt like shit and it hurt and I only cared about getting it to stop hurting long enough I could catch my breath. I did not realize I was overdosing, so stop acting like I did it on purpose.” 

 

“How can you not realize?” Ty demanded. 

 

“The prescription he gave me wasn’t quite the same as he said he’d give me,” Anders sighed tiredly. “Slight difference. I knew how the other one worked, taking a few too many isn’t a problem. I didn’t check to make sure he gave me what he said he would, so, I didn’t realize. Now will you leave me the fuck alone?” 

 

“No, because even if that makes it sounds like it was an accident, there is still the matter of what has been going on with you since then,” Mike mused. 

 

“Jesus, don’t act like you fucking care!” Anders snapped. “I’m a punching bag to the lot of you, someone you yell at and pick on. So don’t act like you fucking care!” 

 

“Of course we bloody well care,” Ty blinked. “Do you think we’re doing this becuase it’s so much fun dealing with you? Why do you always have to be such a prick Anders?”

 

“Then go away and leave me alone!” Anders pulled the cover tighter around himself. “I don’t want you here, so don’t whine to me about how awful it is, just shut up, get the fuck out of here and leave me the hell alone!”

 

“We can’t do that,” Mike sighed. “We need to talk about this. Like a thing, we need to have a thing and sort this through. Can you call Axl?” he asked turning to Ty. 

 

“No!” Anders shouted. His cheeks burned red with anger and Mike gave a start. “You do not call him, and you do not tell him to come here. No fucking way!” 

 

“Okay,” Mike drew the word out. “So I gather this has something to do with Axl then?” 

 

“What the hell did you do to him?” Ty frowned. 

 

“I did, I did?” Anders blinked. “You get out of here right now Ty, and I am not kidding. You get out of here or I’ll fucking well throw you out myself!” 

 

“You couldn’t swat a fly,” Ty snorted. 

 

“Get the fuck out of here!” Anders cried, trying to stumbled to his feet so Mike grabbed him and pulled him back. 

 

“Better go for now Ty,” he decided. 

 

“Fine,” Ty turned around and headed towards the door while Anders sank back down again, shivering. 

 

“What happened with Axl?” Mike asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.  

 

“What the fuck does it matter, you’re gonna blame me anyway,” he muttered. 

 

“Not if it’s not your fault.”

 

“I’m the prick,” Anders closed his eyes. “It doesn’t matter who’s fault it is, you’ll make it mine. Just like Ty did.” 

 

“Anders…” Mike sighed tiredly but Anders was not listening to him. He had his eyes closed and was ignoring his brother. It was worse than that really, it was as if he had not even heard him. Just like before he was quiet and unresponsive. He had never seen Anders do anything like it before, but he found it really disturbing. 

 

Knowing that when he was in that state he would not eat or do anything to take care of himself. If left to himself he could probably starve to death with a plate right in front of him, freeze even if they laid a blanket beside him. 

  
They could not trust him, and if they could not fix it then there was no telling what could happen. Anders couldn’t not be left alone and if they failed he might still die. 

 

_** TBC ** _

 

_ Please comment, the Cricket is hungry.... _


	6. Chapter 6

_** Chapter 6 ** _

 

Mike spent the rest of the day with Anders but failed to rouse him to eat, even if he shook him. Not even a light slap did it and Mike was not willing to hit him harder just to get his attention. It was obvious they would have to do something, but he couldn’t see what they could do. He did however call Olaf who frowned when he watched Anders. Half lying on the couch and facing the fish tank even if he did not appear to see the fish there. 

 

“How long has he been like this?” he frowned as he waved a hand in front of his eyes. 

 

“Pretty much since we got him home from the hospital,” Mike admitted. “Though at first we could get him alert enough to argue about eating. Now I’m not so sure, and I’d haul him back to the hospital except I think they’d lock him up in the loony bin for this.” 

 

“And you’re sure it’s not because of the drug?” Olaf frowned. “He looks kind of upholstered to me.” 

 

“He hasn’t had any drugs since he got home, so he can’t be upholstered,” Mike pinched the bridge of his nose. “And he hasn’t eaten since yesterday, but I can’t get him to eat now, so if this goes on he’ll starve.” 

 

Olaf shook his head sadly, “that wouldn’t be good.” 

 

“No, it would be very, very bad,” Mike pointed out dryly. He sighed as Olaf waved his hand in front of Anders’ eyes again. Asd if that would really make a difference. He couldn’t believe it would. Anders was much too far gone. 

 

“So, it’s not a drug, and it’s not really anything else,” Olaf mused. “So what is left?” 

 

“Not a fucking idea,” Mike gave him a half glare. “That’s what I was hoping you could tell us. I know he’s a fucking prick, but he is my brother. I can’t just stand by and not do anything.” 

 

“He’s never done this before has he?” Olaf lifted his hand by the wrist, dropping it and noting how it fell limply back. 

 

“No, he’s never done this before. And before you ask, yes, I’m sure,” he made a face. “I think I would remember this.” 

 

“Yes, you probably would,” Olaf agreed, getting up and heading over to the fridge. Opening the door he started to look for food, finding the chicken Ty had made and left. 

 

“Grandpa!” Mike gave him a disapproving look. 

 

“I can’t help if I’m hungry Mike,” he shrugged. “And no point letting this go to waste.” Heating it up he studied his grandson as he ate. 

 

Anders had always been a tricky one, a tiny and sickly boy born to a man who cared only about strength and manliness. Johan had never understood what a precious thing it was he had. Their mother had not been much better, only seeing the illness and the problems when the tiny blond had so much love to give. Anders and Axl, they were the two who were the most free with their love and affection. Hugs and kisses for everyone, smiling all the time though Anders stopped smiling much too soon. He did not smile the same way anymore and Olaf wondered if Mike could even remember it. 

 

Anders had stopped smiling and no one had asked why, or sought to make him smile again. They had all been too busy, and Ty and Axl had been too young. 

 

“Maybe he just needs to smile again,” he frowned. 

 

“Grandpa!” Mike half snapped. “He’s a fucking vegetable! How the hell would making him smile fix any of this shit?” 

 

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I just thought maybe it would. He used to smile.” 

 

“He used to answer if you spoke to him, or at least curse you and tell you to fuck off,” he added dryly. “And right now, he’s not doing anything at all.”

 

“Yes he is,” Olaf cleaned off the plate, he was sure of it. Anders was doing something. It was just hard to understand what. The strongest trait in Anders was his instinct to survive. He always struggled to survive, so he was probably doing the same thing now, trying to survive. 

 

“So, he doesn’t eat?” he wanted to know. 

 

“No, he does not eat,” Mike sank down in a chair. He was too tired to deal with his grandpa asking stupid questions instead of helping. 

 

Olaf made a grunt, taking his plate back to dump in on the kitchen counter as he grabbed a glass, pouring two fingers of juice into it. Taking it back he sat next to Anders and pulled him to lean against him, raising the glass to his lips and smiling as Anders swallowed the liquid easily. 

 

“He’s just hiding Mike,” he mused. 

 

“Hiding?” Mike blinked. 

 

“Yes,” Olaf nodded. “He’s hiding becuase things are shit and he can’t cope. And if he tried to hide anywhere else, you would just use Ullr and find him. Force him to come back, and he doesn’t want to, so he’s hiding the only place you can’t find him.” 

 

“Hiding?” Mike shook his head. “He’s fucking hiding.” 

 

“Yes,” Olaf confirmed. “Anders used to hide when he was scared. I guess he’s scared now too, so he’s hiding.”

 

“And how the hell does that make sense?” Mike demanded. Looking at his brother who sat staring at the fishtank but without even seeing it. 

 

“Makes perfect sense, the Anders way,” Olaf shrugged. “He’ll come back when he’s ready, when he does not have to hide anymore.” 

 

“Any idea when that will be?” Mike asked dryly. 

 

“When he’s ready, other than that, no,” Olaf shrugged. 

 

“Fucking awesome,” Mike sighed. 

 

_**TBC** _

 

_Please comment, the Cricket is hungry...._


	7. chapter 7

_** Chapter 7 ** _

 

Seeing Anders stare emptily at the wall was disturbingly much like watching coma Rob Mike thought. 

 

The thought that his brother was hiding from them to the extent he was just about killing himself was equally disturbing. Ty had been furious at first but was now only concerned. 

 

Axl was confused and annoyed. “He’s just being a dick as always, I bet he does it just to piss us off,” he stated. Mike had done the only thing he could and called a thing. 

 

“Axl, this is really serious,” Ty reminded him. “No matter if he’s a dick or not, and I know he’s a dick, but if we can’t sort this out, what’s gonna happen to him?” 

 

“He won’t mess everything up for once, like he always does,” Axl shrugged. “He never helps us anyway.” 

 

“Axl, this is a little more serious,” Mike sighed. “Anders is really unwell here, seriously unwell.” 

 

“Well, he always does this, he does something stupid and we are meant to be feeling sorry for him,” Axl objected. “He’s a dick, and this isn’t my fault so I don’t see what I could do.”

 

“Anders is scared,” Olaf shrugged. “I know he acts like a dick, and sometimes he really is one, but sometimes he’s just scared. He doesn’t know what to do and he thinks that what he can do isn’t good enough, so he thinks he can protect himself by acting like a dick and then he knows you will be mad, so he does not have to worry about it.” 

 

“That doesn’t make sense,” Axl pouted. 

 

“It’s how Anders thinks, it does not have to make sense to us,” Olaf shrugged. 

 

“It makes sense to me, I guess,” Ty shrugged. “I don’t like it, but I can see it.” 

 

“I don’t really care if it makes sense or not,” Mike decided. “I want to know what we do about it.” 

 

“I guess that depends on what happened,” Olaf mused. “Anders has taken a lot of shit through the years. So, to be worse than all that, it would have to be pretty bad.” 

 

“Or it was a lot of things,” when he thought about it, Ty thought it made sense. “Even if the overdose wasn’t intentional, it would have been scary for him. I mean really scary, it was for us. And then Dawn quitting on top of that.” 

 

“She was right to quit,” Axl insisted. “She shouldn’t have to deal with his shit.” 

 

“She had the right to quit, that is her right no matter what the reason,” Mike pointed out. “And given that he had an overdose I don’t blame her. But think about what that must have done to Anders…” 

 

“Ouch,” Ty hadn’t thought about that before, but it made sense. Anders hated hospitals, he did not just dislike them, he hated them and was scared of going to see a doctor. To first suffer the overdose which apparently had been a quite nasty experience, then realize he was in a hospital, it would have been enough on its own. To then have Dawn tell him she quit, it was understandable, but it would have been a shattering blow to Anders. 

 

“Yeah, that would have been pretty bad for him,” Mike agreed, wondering why he had not see that before. 

 

“The question is, what happened before then?” Olaf mused. “What happened so that he was in the hospital in the first place. When they gave him the prescription. Anders do not generally go to the hospital without telling us.” 

 

“No, he let’s us know, usually all of us,” Mike agreed. 

 

“Becuase he’s a pussy who has to whine about everything,” Axl snorted. 

 

“No, becuase he’s scared to death of hospitals, and yeah, he does not want to have to go there alone. That doesn’t make him a pussy Axl,” at the moment Ty couldn’t say he cared much for Axl’s attitude. It certainly was not helping, but then Axl could be quite moody at times. especially if something had gone wrong so he did not get his way, especially if it concerned Anders. 

 

“Whatever,” the youngest brother muttered. 

 

“But since it’s true, why did neither one of us know about it?” Ty frowned. He hauled out his phone to check the log, but there was no call from Anders at that time. “He didn’t call me or text me or antyhign. that’s not like him Mike.” 

 

“Well, it wasn’t anything anyway,” Axl shrugged. “He was just being a dick.” 

 

“You know something about this?” Mike spun around to face him. “Do you know what happened Axl?” 

 

Their youngest brother fidgeted slightly, not wanting to admit what he knew. “Axl, this is important,” Mike reminded him. 

 

“He was being a dick,” Axl blurted out. 

 

“What happened?” Ty pushed. 

 

“I pushed him, but he was fine after,” Axl defended himself. “He was being a dick and wouldn’t help me. I got mad and pushed him. I mean, he did go down, but he got back up after and he was fine.” 

 

“Are you sure Axl, are you absolutely sure?” Mike wanted to know. 

 

“Because sometimes when you get mad, you can get pretty rough,” Ty reminded him. “And Anders is kinda small, you’ve hurt him before without meaning to, quite badly.” 

 

“And Anders does not always show it right away,” Mike added. “But he wouldn’t go to the hospital unless he really had to, and if he didn’t tell either one of us about it, then it makes sense Axl. Maybe you pushed him harder than you meant.” 

 

“But he got up again, he must’ve been fine,” Axl pleaded. “Sure I was pissed at him, he was being a dick, but I didn’t want to really hurt him.” 

 

“I’m sure you didn’t,” Mike nodded. He had to give Axl as much. “No one is saying that, but is it possible that you hurt him more than you thought you did?” 

 

“Yeah, I guess,” he made a face as he realized it was possible that he had. “But he was just being such a jerk. He made me mad.” 

 

“He is good at that,” Ty agreed. “A little too good at it in fact.” 

 

“Much too good at it,” Mike agreed. There were times when his brothers could make him feel a lot older than he really was, three or four times as old. “But you know better than to let him get to you.” 

 

“It’s bloody hard not to,” Axl pouted. 

 

“I know, I’ve lost my temper too with him,” Ty admitted. “But not like this. You can’t hurt him so bad he needs to go to the hospital, no matter how angry he makes you.”

 

“You need to make this right with him,” Mike agreed. “I don’t know how, you’ll have to figure that out for yourself.” 

 

“Starting with how to even get his fucking attention,” Ty sighed. The discussion had been taking place right next to him, and it was as if he did not even know someone was in the room. It was getting really disconcerting. 

 

“When he is ready, he will come to us,” Olaf shrugged. 

 

“When he is ready?” Mike frowned. 

 

“Yes, when he is ready,” Olaf nodded. “Anders needs some time, when he is ready, he will let us know.” 

 

“We can’t go on with him like, like that,” Ty gestured towards his brother. 

 

“Bugger if I know what to do about it though,” Mike sighed. There seemed to be nothing they could do. 

  
**TBC..**

 

_Please comment, the Cricket is hungry..._


	8. chapter 8

_** Chapter 8 ** _

 

What Olaf had said about Anders needing to be ready had not made sense to Mike, and yet he was forced to admit that for once Olaf knew what he was talking about. Mike had not seen any change at all for the better or the worse, as far as he could tell, there was none. He had been forced to stay in Anders flat to keep an eye on him. The fact that Olaf was doing the same thing was not something he considered to be enough. Olaf wasn’t one he trusted to take care of someone who at the moment was not taking care of himself. 

 

Olaf had no problems making himself at home in the flat, it did not take him five seconds but that was the way Olaf was. On the other hand, he was as good at cooking as Ty, even if you had to make sure he did not add any weird ingredients or dope to it. 

 

Sleeping on the couch in Anders’ lounge just really wasn’t the way he wanted it but he did not really have an option unless he trusted it all to Olaf. He could not quite see that ending well. Olaf had not even considered the couch either but decided that Anders’ bed was more than big enough for both of them which also meant he would leave heaps of plates and glasses in there when he had a snack. Since he was Balder he really did have to eat a lot but Mike sure wished he would take the dirty dishes back to the kitchen more regularly. 

 

He needed a glass for breakfast and resigned himself to go and take everything back out of the bedroom. He’d have to wash one by hand even if he put the rest in the machine. The cupboard was bare of dishes though and he needed a mug for the coffee as well. 

 

He could hear Olaf in the shower, singing in the shower, loud and out of tune. It was the way he normally sang so he just closed the door to the hallway to block out as much of the sound as possible. 

 

Entering the bedroom though he could only stare in mouth open shock. Anders was half sitting, leaning against the wall. He was propped up against the pillows which Olaf would have arranged. To Mike’s surprise he was also raising a shaky hand to sip at a small glass of juice and had a slice of toast on a plate beside him on the cover. 

 

“Anders?” Mike blinked. “You okay?” 

 

Anders nodded, a tiny nod and he looked exhausted but it was a response and it was more than Mike had dared to hope for. 

 

“Yeah, yeah I guess,” he sounded as tired as he looked, and hoarse. Taking another sip of the juice with wince as if he had a sore throat. 

 

“We’ve been pretty worried about you ‘bro,” he stepped forward and sat on the edge of the mattress, noting the pained look on Anders face. “You sure you’re okay?” 

 

“Feel like shit,” Anders admitted. “Olaf says I was kinda out of it for a while, I guess that’s why.”

 

“Yeah,” Mike nodded, not sure how to respond to that. It had certainly been long enough. Anders had always been on the thin side, but now he was all skin and bones, and pale. He looked like he had been sick, just about at death’s door. “Do you want something to eat?” 

 

“Olaf made me toast, and I’m not even sure I can finish it,” he admitted. “Kind of pathetic really.” 

 

“No, you’ve been pretty, ill,” he finished. He wasn’t quite sure what to call it. 

 

“Don’t sugarcoat it Mike, Olaf told me,” Anders lowered his eyes, scowling at the toast as he picked at it. “He sure didn’t spare me any details, so don’t treat me like I’m  fucking kid. I’ve not been ill, I’ve been a fucking mental case and since Dawn quit I’m pretty sure I don’t even have my business anymore.” 

 

“We’ll sort it out Anders,” Mike told him. “This, this mess wasn’t really your fault I guess. So if you need help to fix it, we’ll deal with it.” 

 

The look Anders gave him was of utter shock, shock that he was not blamed and that they would help, and as Mike watched suspicion covered the surprise. 

 

“It really wasn’t your fault Anders, none of it, so yes, if you need help, we will help you,” he stated and Anders almost pulled back. He pushed the plate with the toast away from him, a quarter of it eaten, but he had another sip of the juice. 

 

“Doesn’t matter anyway, I can’t run it without Dawn,” he shrugged. 

 

“If we tell her what happened she might consider working for you again,” Mike could hardly believe he said it, but at the moment he was hoping they could convince her.

 

“No, she’ll do better without me,” Anders shook his head. “I’m tired Mike, can we not do this?” 

 

“Sure,” he just found himself unwilling to leave, irrationally worried that if he left the room, Anders would fall back into the same state he had been in before. “How about getting out of bed though?”

 

“Nope, don’t have the energy, and I’m fucking sore,” Anders made a face. “Aches all over, I really feel like shit Mike, seriously.” 

 

“Okay, I just,” he broke off, perhaps it was not a good idea to tell Anders what he was worried about. “You do need to eat more later if I you can, so how about you rest, and I try to fix something, yeah?” 

 

“Sure,” Anders closed his eyes and Mike felt his heart skip a beat. Anders was falling asleep, but as he did so he gave a soft sigh and turned his head which he had not before. Releasing the breath he had not realized he was holding Mike took the glass from his hand so he would not spill the juice. 

 

Olaf came from the bathroom, a towel in his hand but not covering himself in any way and dripping water on the floor in spite of the towel. “He’s a bit better,” he smiled as he sat down on the bed to dry off. 

 

“He talked to me,” Mike smiled. “But he still looks awful.” 

 

“It will take him some time,” Olaf shrugged. “But that’s not important right now, what is important is that he is getting better and he will be okay. He’s ready now.” 

 

“Ready?” Mike frowned. 

 

“Yes,  ready to smile again,” Olaf beamed and all Mike could do was shake his  head and wonder what he was really talking about. 

 

 

** TBC **

 

_ Please comment, the Cricket is hungry.... _


	9. chapter 9

_** Chapter 9 ** _

 

Mike called Ty, thinking it was best to wait with getting Axl to come over. Ty though was a very good idea if for no other reason that Anders still needed nourishing food. A task Ty for once seemed to find great pleasure in no matter how mad he had been at his brother before. Anders even if he claimed he was not hungry seemed to at least appreciate the effort and tried to eat. At first he could hardly manage more than a few mouthfuls, but Ty made him small portions so that they would not look so massive and soon he could finish them. When he asked for more Ty nearly leapt for joy. 

 

Bringing Axl and Anders face to face for the first time was awkward, Axl a bit sour and hesitant and Anders quiet and guarded. he was still sickly pale and thin. Mike was pretty sure he was underweight and getting him back to a more or less healthy state would not be easy. Even so he managed to look slightly superior as he looked at Axl, waiting for him to make the first move. 

 

“I uh, I guess I pushed you harder than I meant to,” Axl started slowly. 

 

“Try hard enough for bruised ribs,” Anders stated dryly. “Bruised hipbone and apparently some pretty nasty stress on elbow and knee. I did not even know that was possible, but it would appear it is.”

 

“Uh, yeah, sorry,” Axl repeated sheepishly. 

 

“I guess that’s fine,” Anders stated. “You’re my little brother, and you’re Odin, so don’t worry about it. I’m only your big brother, so it’s really fine.” His tone of voice hinted that it was fine, that really he had forgiven Axl for it all, but there was a challenge in his eyes. 

 

“I didn’t mean to do it, but you didn’t have to be such a dick,” Axl objected. 

 

“Sure, it was my fault. I should have done what you wanted,” Anders nodded. His voice was smooth and pleasant but Mike saw the challenge still in his eyes. Axl was walking on dangerously thin ice and he did not even know it. 

 

“I was just asking you for a favor, and you wouldn’t even listen to me,” Axl frowned. He really did not see what Anders was doing. 

 

“You asked me for a favor,” Anders agreed. “After you had made it clear I was not to use my powers for selfish reasons, suggesting I ask your permission every time I do anything. You also made it clear you expect me to be at your beck and call for anything you want at anytime. I’ll grant you that you did not put it that way,  but we both know what you meant. After this, you want me to use my powers for your selfish reason, and you might be Odin, but you’re still a kid Axl. You still don’t think about what you’re doing, and you’re doing the very same things you accuse me off. I have never, never forced a woman into my bed against her will. I couldn’t even if I tried. All I can do is get them in the mood but then it’s up to them, so what you suggested, that was crossing the line Axl. Then what you asked me to do, what you demanded I do, it was too fucking far and throwing me into the wall when I would not… That really makes you a man huh?” His voice was biting cold now, cutting through to the quick and Mike could see Axl go pale with both hurt and anger. He was hurt that his brother would speak to him like that, and angry that he dared so Mike made sure he was ready to step in between them too. 

 

“You’re Odin, so you can do what you want,” Anders went on. “There’s a nice hard wall here, so you can just go ahead if you don’t like what I’m saying. But I’m telling you this, don’t fucking apologize to me again unless you really mean it. Becuase this fucking charade because someone made you, it doesn’t count for shit.” 

 

“Anders…” Ty started but Anders cut him off. 

 

“I don’t give a fuck about him being our baby brother Ty,” he stated slowly. “It’s not an excuse and it does not give him the right to be a fucking bully. If he wants to go Odin on my ass and order me to shit, I can’t really do anything about it now can I? But if he wants me to do anything as a brother he’d better apologize first, and not becuase Mike tells him to. That really doesn’t mean anything and you know it, and I’m sick of the three of you justifying all the crap you give me by saying I’m a dick. Yeah, I look out for myself, because I don’t know who else would give a fuck.” 

 

“A bit harsh,” Mike mused. 

 

“I thought you’d see it that way,” Anders voice was suddenly void of all emotions. 

 

“If you don’t like it, why are you such a dick?” Axl demanded angrily. 

 

“I don’t know, why am I?” Anders demanded with a hint of challenge in his voice. 

 

“Anders, it’s enough,” Ty cut in softly. “You made your point, don’t push it.” 

 

“No Ty, you made my point,” Anders sighed softly. “And if you three are done I’d like to get some rest. I have to go down to the office tomorrow and see if I can salvage anything of my business or if it’s all over.” 

 

“We’ll talk more later,” Mike decided, nudging Axl along. “Ty, why don’t you see if you can make him something to eat?” 

 

“Sure,” Ty nodded. Axl had a slightly sour look on his face as he followed Mike out, and Anders did not pay much attention to them. 

 

Anders only turned around in his seat so he could watch the fish tank, then he slumped down in the chair. He looked quite exhausted Ty thought. Anders really didn’t move around much, he was still tired and would only move as much as he had to though he was getting better. 

 

He did not even look up when the oven timer beeped, but then Anders never did care too much about what happened in his kitchen. Ty put a glass down on the table in front of him with a sharp click to get his attention. When Anders was looking at him he put the plate down beside it. “The rest needs to cool off, then you can just put it in the fridge and you got food for later as well,” he told him. “I’ll come back tomorrow. And Anders, I care,” with that Ty turned around to leave. 

 

Anders allows his eyes to wander to the plate, pizza sandwiches and cupcakes, yes, he nods to himself, Ty cares. 

 

Ty cares, but Ty generally cares about everyone so Anders is not really sure if he dares to even think that someone else might. He really feels much too tired for anything but he drags himself to the office anyway. Wondering if he will have even a single client left. In all likelihood he will have to change the name if he wants to stay in business, he is sure of it. No one will want to deal with him again when he suddenly disappears like that and contracts are left hanging. 

 

Logging onto the computer he hardly dare to look at it and has to fortify himself with a large glass of vodka.    
  
In truth he does not need the vodka, he knows things will be bad and he’s gone through bad before, but the vodka is nice. 

 

The inbox is rather flooded, but it’s not near as bad as he thought it would be. Apparently before she left Dawn sent out a mass e-mail to all their clients saying that Anders had a medical emergency and would be unable to perform his duties for some time. This means that a lot of them are actually quite understanding and wishes him to contact them when he is recovered. He can not really understand why she would do that for him, but then that is just Dawn. She’s a lot like Ty that way, she cares even if you do not think you deserve it. 

 

It’s still hard work, and he’s certainly not fully well. Even if Ty drops by with food and Mike comes to drag him from the office at the end of the day. He’s only able to perform small tasks. Rosie expresses her concern when she drops in, worried about how pale and thin he is though he simply brushes it off. Rosie is sweet and one of the clients that he likes the best. Not because she is that good looking but because she really is a good and nice person. he really wants the best for her but at the moment there is only so much he can manage and she understands that and do not ask for more. 

 

Some clients do not, they demand much more than he can give. More than he could have given even if he had Dawn. 

 

It’s depressing and difficult and a part of him feels like giving up but he never was a quitter, at least not when it came to his business. 

 

He ought to find a new Personal Assistant, but he won’t. He does not have time and he does not want to. Mostly he does not want to. It would be so easy to find someone who could do what Dawn did, take the calls, make the calls, and probably one that would let him have sex with her. It would be nice and it would be what he needed, sex. He does not because he could not find anyone who would stand up to him the way Dawn did. 

 

Instead he pushes the laptop away from him and fills a large glass of vodka. Putting his feet up on the desk he’s not sure what he should do, continue to try and save his business, if he can bring himself to care that much, or just call it quits. It would be the easier option. He could probably find something else to do, maybe, or simply drink himself to death. That would certainly be the easiest solution even if it’s not one he seriously entertains. 

 

“What do you think you’re doing?” the voice is sharp and angry and he jumps. 

 

“Dawn?” he’d think he was drunk if he did not know better. 

 

“How can you do this Anders?” she has no problem about taking the glass from him. “Are you trying to give yourself alcohol poisoning now? I don’t believe you, how can you be so fucking stupid Anders?”  

 

“I’m good at it,” he gives her a sheepish smile, confused and for once at a loss of what to say. “Dawn, why are you  here? I thought you never wanted to see me again.” 

 

“I never want to see you do something so stupid again,” she sighs. “But it turns out that sitting at home wondering if you’ve finally managed to kill yourself with this shit is no easier than sitting here wondering if you’re going to do it.” 

 

“Dawn, I know it isn’t the point, but what happened, it was accidental, I swear it,” there is no reason why she should believe him, and it’s not really why he’s telling her. He just wants her to know that he would never do that to her on purpose. “I knew I was taking too many pills, that I guess I meant to do. But, I didn’t know what would happen, I mean, it wasn’t the right drug, not what he’d say he’d give me. That’s why it happened, I didn’t mean for it.” 

 

When she nods he can almost see a tiny smile, “Ty told me, I did want to know what you would say though.” 

 

“I want to say the right thing,” he sighs. “Tell you just anything that would make you come back and work for me. I’d promise you anything, any fucking thing you wanted that would make you come back, but I’m not gonna do that to you. You deserve a lot better than me Dawn.” He never thought he would use Bragi on her again, but now he does. “You need to work for someone who deserve you Dawn, not just some fuckwit that doesn’t care about you. Don’t settle for second best.” Bragi has done his job, but it has exhausted him so he leans back into his chair taking a deep breath. “I’ll write you a glowing recommendation, I don’t know what I can manage in severance pay, if I want to try and work this out here and save the company I can’t afford a lot. But I’m not sure if it’s worth trying to save anymore, so it’s your call.” 

 

“I don’t expect miracles from you Anders,” she folds her arms across her chest. “I thought about offering to come back if you promised to give up drugs and drinking, but I don’t have the right to demand that from you. But if there ever is a repeat performance of this, then I will walk away and I will not think twice about doing it.”

 

“What?” confused he pinched the bridge of his nose. “It sounds like you’re coming back. You can’t come back Dawn. You can’t do this. You really should find someone better. Fuck, every other PR agency in Auckland has to be better. Just pick any of them, I’ll make sure they hire you.” 

 

“It’s really tempting Anders,” she states as she turns to drop her purse on her desk. “But after having worked for you for so long, I don’t think I could do that. I try to picture working for someone who do not force me to spray paint an erupting volcano, and I don’t think I would know how to.” 

 

“It would be kind of boring, huh?” he braves a small smile. 

 

“Yes,” she confirms. “It would, and it would be legal. So we are going to do it this way instead. You are my boss, and there are certain things I can not demand from you. I wish I could, and I’m pretty sure I would be well in my rights if I demanded you went to AA. I think you need it too. Really the only thing I don’t know is why I am not doing it.” 

 

“I can’t do that Dawn,” he bites his lip. “I guess you’re right, and sometimes I drink too much, but AA, it wouldn’t work. I’m not an alcoholic Dawn, I’m not.” 

 

“Even if they say that denying it is one of the signs,” she gives a half smile. “I won’t do it, but, if I tell you that it’s enough, then you will stop and then at least I will know you won’t drink yourself to death in the office.” 

 

“I would never do that to you, never,” Anders got to his feet, looking Dawn in the eye. “I swear Dawn, I know what a prick I am, but I would never intentionally do that to you. And you have to believe that. No matter what stupid shit I do, I will never intentionally hurt you.” 

 

“It’s what you don’t intend for that’s the problem,” Dawn nodded. “But this is how it will be, if I say enough, then it is enough and if you even dare to try and argue with me about it, you will regret it.” 

 

Anders nodded, then gave her a quick hug. Anders wasn’t someone who hugged a lot but she knew that he treasured the ones he got as rare as they were. He would hardly ever take the first step and actually hug someone though. She didn’t quite know why, he just wouldn’t. There was a faint hint of vodka on his breath, but not so that it bothered her. Mostly he was just warm and comfortable and Dawn tightened the hug for a second before she let him go. 

 

“If that was for telling you off, it’s not the reaction I expected,” she mused. 

 

“You wouldn’t tell me off if you didn’t care Dawn, it was for caring,” Anders gave a sheepish smile as he sat down at his desk again, turning his focus to the screen. Determined to save the company. He would do it becuase suddenly it seemed worth fighting for. 

 

“Rosie was here, I’m gonna try something Dawn: I might be able to land her a contract, though it will take more time than maybe I should put on one single client right now.” 

 

“But Rosie deserves it,” Dawn nodded. “Do it Anders. You focus on the bigger ones and I’ll sort out what I can of  the smaller. We’ll make enough business that way to keep us afloat for a while and then we can worry about the rest later.” 

 

Anders nodded, already engrossed in his work and Dawn smiled softly. He looked a bit better already compared to how he had looked when she entered. Tired and defeated, now she could see Anders in him again. The sly one she had started working for, with enough flaws for the marching band and debate club together. Even knowing that she could not turn away. He had a lot of good qualities too, and he needed her, so she would stay because Anders deserved someone he could count on. Someone who could tell him when he was doing something wrong but would not be so cruel about it as his brothers could be. 

 

They really could be cruel, which was why she hesitated when Axl came through the door. She had seen a lot of Ty and Mike. Anders was still not fully well and nearly overtaxed himself several times. She could order him to take a break, then Ty would appear with food for both of them, and Mike would make sure Anders went home. She had not seen a lot of Axl though but had found out that he was the one who had lost his temper and hurt Anders. 

 

There was a sheepish and almost guilty look on his face though so she nodded towards Anders desk, but she got up from her desk and followed him there. Just to make sure. 

 

Anders looked up, surprised and confused as he saw his little brother. 

 

“I uh, wanted to say sorry, really sorry,” Axl started. “Mike didn’t make me, and I am sorry.” He fidgeted as Anders nodded slowly. “Uh, Zeb said I should bring something, kinda like peace offering, but I couldn’t think of anything, I mean, Vodka isn’t a very good idea right now, is it?” 

 

“It’s not,” Dawn confirmed. She was wondering what Anders was waiting for. 

 

“Didn’t think so, and if I brought food I would probably poison you,” he mumbled. “And uh, anyway, Ty’s doing that, but I really am sorry Anders. I had no right to get that mad at you. I was wrong, and I wish I could take it back.” 

 

“You lost your temper Axl, I’m trying not to lose my company,” Anders started softly and Axl fidgeted again. 

 

“Can I help?” Axl asked carefully. “If I can I will, I don’t want you to lose it, it was my fault. I’ll do anything.” 

 

Now Anders smiled and Dawn knew it was going to be okay. “I could use the help yeah, but you’re crap at this, so I appreciate the offer, but there’s not much you can do right now. I’ll let you know if something comes up that you can do for me.” 

 

“I’ll do anything,” Axl promised. “When Ty and Mike told me how ill you were, it scared the shit out of me. But I guess I was so scared I was mad instead.” 

 

“It scares me too Axl,” Anders got up to fix himself some coffee. The way he did it when he wanted to think and was covering it up by moving around. He still filled three mugs and handed one to Axl and one to Dawn. “I didn’t mean for that to happen anymore than you meant to beat me. And we’re brothers, we’re never gonna stop fighting, fuck it would be boring if we did.”

 

“But it wasn’t a fight, it was me beating you up,” Axl sighed. 

 

“It was you being a bully because I didn’t do what you wanted,” Anders did not believe in pulling punches. “And had I done that for myself, you would have beaten me then too, so I sure wasn’t going to do it. It was you being a selfish kid Axl, and you really need to start growing up.” 

 

“Yeah, I guess,” he nodded. 

 

“Good, I need to get back to work now,” Anders clapped him briefly on the shoulder. 

 

“So, we’re good then?” Axl asked hesitantly. “You’re not gonna make me do anything to get you to forgive me?”

 

Having been about to sit down behind his desk again Anders paused half bent over, “come back in an hour, and bring a pizza.” 

 

Sitting down he focused on his screen and Dawn watched amused as Axl fidgeted, causing Anders to look up again. 

 

“Uh, I’m broke,” Axl admitted, looking all the more awkward for his height. 

 

“I know,” Smiling softly Anders held out a bill to him. “But come back in an hour and bring pizza, I mean it. I don’t know what Ty is trying to do, but the stuff he’s bringin is so healthy it could kill you.”

 

Axl nodded and left while Anders was already hammering away at the keyboard again. Finishing just in time before Axl returned with the pizza. He had a new contract for Rosie that would really be good for her, Dawn was staying and Axl was growing up even if it was a slow progress. Things could be worse.

 

** The End **

_Please comment, the Dwarf Cricket is hungry.._.


End file.
